every time I go into the reading room at my school, this guy who’s like the janitor just sits at one of the tables and does nothing. it pisses me off because he always sits at the table where the lights work and there’s a window and there’s always a bunch of students coming looking for seats but they can’t use that one because of that dude.
and then whenever a teacher comes in, he gets up and tries to look busy.
i’m just too lazy to do the finishing touches. it’s not even that hard. I just have to write a summery paragraph, put in concrete details with quotes ‘cause i was too lazy the first time, and make my commentary sound like the boss. I’M SOO LAAZZYY. but i don’t want to be doing this later tonight when I’m at home watching TV/sleeping/eating. KICK IN COFFEE THAT TASTES LIKE IT’S BEEN OUT FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS. you don’t even have to go to class today. you can skip because they’re doing the same things. WHY ARE YOU SO FRUSTRATING, BRAIN? there’s a part in the brain, forgot what it’s called, that controls motivation. i think that part of my brain got knocked around a few times.
I don’t like clubbing or partying. I like kick backs with shots and weed. I’m too lazy to sit at a bar by myself while I see people freaking. Freaking is boring. Meaning, if I ever have a party in LV I’m not even going to go. I’d probably smoke, drink, eat, and sleep.
good think I’m just going to be a doctor who spends her time doing heart surgery. Or brain. I haven’t decided yet. I think the cutting into the skin is going to need some work for me but the veins and whatever else I need to cut, I’ll be fine.
Mum:HONEST TO GOD IT'S LIKE NONE OF YOU CARE AROUND HERE IF I LEFT YOU FOR A WEEK I'D COME BACK AND YOU'D PROBABLY BE DEAD BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOURSELVES HONESTLY I DO SO MUCH AND I'M NOT EVEN VALUED DO YOU EVEN CARE NO YOU DON'T
When I’m interviewed about men’s style and Put This On, I’m almost invariably asked “what are the fashion mistakes you see men make every day?” or “what is the most basic style knowledge men often don’t have?”
That’s the kind of stuff I usually leave off this blog. After all: you’re discerning and tasteful! But every time I see some incredibly basic principle violated, I cringe. So: for the benefit of your slovenly coworker our your teenage cousin or your uncle who’s never had a job, I wrote this. Forward it to them. Anonymously, if you must.
Below are twenty-five pieces of vital information that every man over 14 in the Western world should know. Every man. No excuses. Seriously. Seriously.
Unbutton the bottom button of your jacket. It’s not intended to be buttoned.
Same goes for your vest.
Remove the tags on the sleeves of your jacket before you wear it.
Jackets sometimes come with white basting thread on their shoulders or holding closed their vents. Remove this thread before wearing the jacket.
Jacket pockets are intended to be opened. Use a small scissor or seam ripper.
More than three jacket buttons is never appropriate for anything.
Your coat should follow and flatter the lines of your upper body, not pool around them. You should be able to slip a hand in to get to your inside breast pocket, but if the jacket’s closed and you can pound your heart with your fist, it’s too big.
When you buy a suit or sportcoat, it should be altered to fit by a tailor. This will cost between $25 and $100.
Your tie should reach your belt line - it shouldn’t end above your belt or below it.
Only wear a tie if you’re also wearing a suit or sportcoat (or, very casually, a sweater). Shirt, tie and no jacket is the wedding uniform of a nine-year-old.
The only men who should wear black suits during the day are priests, undertakers, secret agents, funerals attendees and yokels.
Cell phone holsters are horrible.
So are square-toed shoes.
Never wear visible socks with shorts.
Or any socks with sandals.
If your shirt is tucked in, you should be wearing a belt (or suspenders, if you’re wearing a jacket as well, or your trousers should have side adjusters and no belt loops).
Flip flops are great for the pool and the beach and not great for anything else. (Some say this is a matter of taste. We agree. If you have any taste, you will only wear flip-flops at the beach or pool.)