T minus 6 days until my brother leaves for Taiwan. I want him to stay but then no I don’t. I don’t want to hold him back but then again I do. But then he might be depressed that he never got the chance to try and then he’ll end up smoking even more. And when he smokes more there’s a greater chance of getting lung cancer. And the greater chance of getting lung cancer the greater chance of him “moving to the other side” of the door or light or whatever.
this was my rationalizing for not feeling too sad about my brother. it’s better to see him every once in a while than to never see him again (until i die). this also just means i’m too dependent on my brother. this needs to change. i need to be INDEPENDENT. i’m just too lazy.
anyways, for the next, i guess, 5 years i will only be able to see my brother on: comic con days, a week or whatever during summer vacation, thanksgiving?, christmas, and our birthdays (which is basically one week since our birthdays are within a week of each other).
this is basically what i saw in his future anyways. him off in some distant land having to take a jet to meetings being held in different countries, him with his own badass business (i also realized he can do his bike building there, DC & Marvel themes but whatever). i never saw him living in CA his whole life. he has too much potential and too big of an importance feel about him to just stay in CA forever.
for me, i just want to help people. doctors without boarders is my main goal. i just have to work at a regular hospital for however many years so i have extra cash when i get back from other countries. and then after years of being a doctor, i might be a teacher. i always liked teaching and school so i’d like to do that. but that’s when i’m like, 60 or something. but i’d also have to learn a new language for whatever country i go to. so then i’d be some kind of badass multilingual doctor/teacher who has a powerful business man brother who can help me out if i ever get in a sticky situation.
a badass business man and a badass doctor. this is how i see our future.
i just need to get into a respectable medical school and then i’ll be on my way.